It is a bad time. I'm not feeling very reasonable or charitable right now. I understand you may not have been in your right mind and it took a lot of courage to reach out, but I'm still really fucking mad.
You can make your apologies but if you want a higher chance of them being accepted I'd suggest waiting.
But I'll type this out so you have time to assimilate it later because it's A Lot.
It's not a justification, just an explanation:
1. Kraken was starving, absolutely everyone refused to put on the bracelet in round one.
2. I was of the opinion that everyone seeing we were unscathed round one was about to trigger a wave of targeting on Kraken for round 2. "Why should they get away with nothing happening to them?" That sort of thing.
3. Everyone still refused to budge, so I finally put one on. I didn't think I'd win any fights. I thought "At least I can say I tried. I can be 'the bad guy' of Kraken and at least try."
4. I thought you must surely have put on a bracelet. Because you're cool and fearless and strong and you would have gone out to get food for Cerebus. Like the time you fought to save my life.
5. I expected us to fight and you to win. I could say "I tried." Cerebus would get a meal from me.
6. When I realized that wasn't the case, I said mean taunting things to fill you with thoughts of revenge, so that you would want to come after me next round. Or someone on Cerebus would. Then, someone would target me and win, and at the same time our heart would be safe.
7. Then Venat, our heart, got killed and we all went a little 'crazy'.
So, this whole game turned into me trying to throw myself at the floor and missing.
...Anyway, just writing to let you see there was a logic to what happened. More than me being mean just to be mean.
[reads the message but doesn't come back with a reply for like. 2 hours.]
I didn't put the bracelet on because then the only people who hadn't left would be Minato and Ritsuka. Everyone would know it could only be between the two of them and I couldn't leave them exposed.
If I'd been the heart I couldn't have put a bracelet on either. You put all of Cerberus at risk. A trial like that is nothing but risks, you had to take one somewhere to get through it, I get that. But you still decided our lives were the risks worth taking.
I understand your logic. I understand you were trying to do what you thought was right and trying to protect your team with minimal casualties. Reason is telling me not to hold that against you but emotionally I'm not ready to forgive.
Don't pull that mindfuck shit on me again. You make a shitty villain anyway.
[she starts to write a response: I had no way of knowing who were your bracelet-persons other than guessing by your personalities. But, yes, I could've hit your heart. But, at that point you had six alive members, so statistically the odds were low. Lower than any other team. I know our teams are close... but it was a killing game and choices had to be made. But, then she just deletes all that, deciding it feels better to write it than actually send.
[day 50, after talking to Minato]
...Okay, I know this is a bad time, but I want to apologize.
Please hear me out.
Re: [day 50, after talking to Minato]
It is a bad time. I'm not feeling very reasonable or charitable right now. I understand you may not have been in your right mind and it took a lot of courage to reach out, but I'm still really fucking mad.
You can make your apologies but if you want a higher chance of them being accepted I'd suggest waiting.
no subject
But I'll type this out so you have time to assimilate it later because it's A Lot.
It's not a justification, just an explanation:
1. Kraken was starving, absolutely everyone refused to put on the bracelet in round one.
2. I was of the opinion that everyone seeing we were unscathed round one was about to trigger a wave of targeting on Kraken for round 2. "Why should they get away with nothing happening to them?" That sort of thing.
3. Everyone still refused to budge, so I finally put one on. I didn't think I'd win any fights. I thought "At least I can say I tried. I can be 'the bad guy' of Kraken and at least try."
4. I thought you must surely have put on a bracelet. Because you're cool and fearless and strong and you would have gone out to get food for Cerebus. Like the time you fought to save my life.
5. I expected us to fight and you to win. I could say "I tried." Cerebus would get a meal from me.
6. When I realized that wasn't the case, I said mean taunting things to fill you with thoughts of revenge, so that you would want to come after me next round. Or someone on Cerebus would. Then, someone would target me and win, and at the same time our heart would be safe.
7. Then Venat, our heart, got killed and we all went a little 'crazy'.
So, this whole game turned into me trying to throw myself at the floor and missing.
...Anyway, just writing to let you see there was a logic to what happened. More than me being mean just to be mean.
Please forgive me.
Someday.
no subject
I didn't put the bracelet on because then the only people who hadn't left would be Minato and Ritsuka. Everyone would know it could only be between the two of them and I couldn't leave them exposed.
If I'd been the heart I couldn't have put a bracelet on either. You put all of Cerberus at risk. A trial like that is nothing but risks, you had to take one somewhere to get through it, I get that. But you still decided our lives were the risks worth taking.
I understand your logic. I understand you were trying to do what you thought was right and trying to protect your team with minimal casualties. Reason is telling me not to hold that against you but emotionally I'm not ready to forgive.
Don't pull that mindfuck shit on me again. You make a shitty villain anyway.
[part of Tsumugi is seething]
So she actually just sends this:]
I understand.
I'm sorry it turned out like it did.
Re: [part of Tsumugi is seething]
If you've said all you need to say, then go take a break. I'll talk to you when I'm ready, don't worry about all this shit with me until then.
no subject